I'm a good church going girl, so dearest advisors-o-shit, I must turn to you.

Where's the best place to get hookers and blow?

Thanks.

Me.

Hey, I am Eva; I’m 25 years old and live in the Piedmont/Grand Lake area. I have quadriplegic cerebral palsy, which means I cannot walk, speak, or use my hands. I use a wheelchair to get around and communicate what I want to say by spelling out on a letterboard. This might seem daunting at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes really easy. I need full time assistance to facilitate me living my life.

As my aide, you will assist me in daily life activities such as dressing, showering, communicating, eating, note-taking, driving, etc. (but no heavy cleaning - you will not be my maid). Also, my aides help me do stuff I want to do, like having coffee with friends, and just chilling at home. I’ll be starting grad school at The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in October. I also do a moderate amount of GLBTQ activism, so you’ll probably assist me with that too (see www.queersonwheels.com).    

The requirements for the job are the strength to do regular lifting (to lift me, but I'm pretty small. and can help), a driver’s license and decent record (you’ll sometimes be driving my van), a moderately interesting personality, and a moderate interest in hanging out with a 25 year-old dyke with a wacky sense of humor. It would be great if you had an interest in human sexuality too, since those are mostly the courses I will be taking. I don’t mean you have to know everything or even have taken classes in the field; just I don’t want you to be bored in class with me. You should like dogs as well since I may be volunteering at a shelter and I plan on adopting a dog in the very near future. This is not so much a “caretaking” job as a “hang out and help me” kind of job. We have to have some sort of interesting connection otherwise we’ll both be bored and I’m not cool with that. No experience required because I will train you, and all people welcome queer and straight. Currently I have two part-time shifts open: one from 8am to 4pm and one from 4-11pm, both shifts are on Saturday and Sunday. The job would start on Saturday, June 7th. The pay is between 10 and 12 dollars per hour and will be facilitated through Dare to Dream Attendant Services, the agency that will be providing my aides; however, you will be working through them for me.

If you are interested, email me about yourself and a resume at evasaidead@yahoo.com

 Thanks!

Eva

You can get the new NIN cd for free at: http://dl.nin.com/theslip/signup

I'm not a big fan but for those who are, enjoy.

The most awesome thing just happened.

I was picking up my dogs poop, and there was a swarovski crystal sparkling cleanly on top of one of the poo nuggs.

Fancy poo!

Yes, I bought some swarovski flatbacks and the special heating tool, and the crystals kept falling out of the heating tool when I'd try to place them. Looks like I missed one....

AOOOW!!!

so my buddy stared chemo for testicle cancer today, hes 27, what should i do/get for him to cheer him up? thanks.




(no i dont have pics of his cancer ridden balls so i cant prove im for realz. )

In Sook Kim
Because her photos are so beautiful! I especially like Die Auktion I

A guy I dislike immensely has declared undying love for me. How do I deal with this situation? He is a basement-dweller if that helps facilitate advice.

Just click on the picture to go directly to ebay and check our whats for sale. Everything in the picture YOU CAN BUY INSTANTLY - NO WAITING!! Plus there is a bunch of other stuff that you can still bid on like a normal auction! :)

My temp agency forgot to put my paycheck in my account last week, causing me overdrafts a plenty while I was out of town. How do I get REVENGE?

Dear Shitty Advice,
My room mate is a real jerk. While I am at work she goes in to my room and steals my lighters. A few days later she will put them pack in to my room like nothing ever happened. I have never caught her in the act so I can't point any fingers. What can I do to prevent this?

Also, I am currently at work. I really need to poop but the bathroom stall smells like a 3 day old period. What should I do?

Love,
Bianca

It's been a long time, and I feel like since this damn journal is mostly one way communication these days, that this is my chance to Give Back(tm)!!
The dreaded and obligatory LJ meme!

If you'd like, comment, and I will honestly answer the questions below.

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must should post this in your LJ.

Obviously I will not reply until tomorrow at the earliest.

-C.
PS: Lurking readers can play too, but you need to post your name so I know who you are!

Streaking already? Couldn't wait until finals started, huh?

Guh.

I helped my friend Alpha Heather (aka: whataboutprom) move tonight, sometimes it's nice to be the "friend with van", and I got a delicious Calzone and some beer for my troubles as well as some good time hang out sessions with the Alpha Heather and er... man, what is Onerik Heather's nickname anyway?

It was Parliament of Heather, that's the important thing.

the other important thing is that some people will give away anything:


yes, this is a prisoner duck with crazy hair, smoking a blunt and apparantly doing oil painting.
an oil painting of YOU!

We all kind of marveled how such a masterpiece. A masterpiece that is so truly tacky and horrible, it almost starts to cross over into the world of the brilliant, would ever be left outside, my take on it was that it was owned by a (stoner, obviously!) dude, who lived alone and then had his girlfriend move in, and who insisted that he get rid of it.

anyway, good times were had, and my vehicleless friend is now moved.

Excellent!

-C.

So I love last.fm, awhile back I got to the point where I was pretty much only listening to music digitally, right?
I had already been used it, I kind of become a little obsessed with it, to date it's one of the only web 2.0 products i like (aside from this one). So I just upgraded the software...
during the install something went haywire...

I'm glad that ipod integration is pretty much seemless now, but i've got this weird... glitch now.

Check it out:

Actually with the exception of the kinda "eh" White Stripes song it's a pretty decent set of songs, but why everytime?

Every time I sync up right now, I get a cavalcade of songs from random points over the last couple years...
It's very strange!

check out those dates!
Even if there is nothing new it shows up...

I wiped and restored my ipod and reinstalled last.fm no luck.
I'm hoping I don't have to reinstall itunes altogether and wipe registry settings altogether.
However it seems like that could be possible.

It's very odd!

-C.


PS: i'm down to only 66 missing tracks!

I'm making chili as a potluck for my employees. What should I use as the secret ingredient? (They all know to expect hobo semen in it, so that's not so secret)

I was a bit inebriated during my last posting (two glasses of wine, go figure), so it's a tad all over the place.
Basically, after my last AZ trip to visit with Adam, things went from bad to worse in the following two weeks. Eventually, I gave in to my feelings, and explained to him over the phone just how much his behaviour towards me was destructive to not only our "friendship", but to me as a human being. He'd wanted to remain friends after the break up but he was treating me like anything but. He apologized profusely, and was genuine in his realizations. Due to personal occurences, he made a nine hour drive the following week, last month, for the weekend. I planned on sharing a side of myself that he'd never seen in the two years of our being together... (I was going through so much, drug addictions, self esteem issues, trust issues, etc.), and decided to be the confident, happy person I know that lives strong within me. After just an hour of his arrival to our suite I'd booked, we hit the pool and had the time of our life. Laughing, playing, he even taugh me to swim! Though I doubt I can get very far at this point :) After our night dip, he insisted he take me to a special dinner, but I assured him this wasnt neccesary. Mind you, the last we'd seen eachother, he was hesitant to have any physical contact with me at all, let alone a simple kiss (which I understand, but took very hard). At the airport that day, he even went as far as begging me to let him go, move on, "get over" him...
...and so with the rekindled friendship and his compliments, I was finding myself both confused and elated, but thought not to get ahead of myself. On the way to dinner, he told me repeatedly just how beautiful I looked, (and after the lengthy emotional conversation just the night before over the phone, he said he loved me, and couldn't wait to kiss me). Again, I stuck to my plan on being Ms. Independent, minus the mind games, or the hard-to-get 'tude. I think this drove him a tad crazy, since he grew more aggressive with his flattery. Eventually, he was asking if it were okay he hold me, touch me, etc. Once we returned to the room, we made love, (this is getting personal, I know, but I also acknowledge this is MY journal). It seemed to happen without either one of us knowing really what was going on, and mid way through we realized what was taking place, and neither one of us asked for it to end. The whole weekend was wonderful, trips to the dog park, our favourite private beach on base, time in the sauna, etc.
He returned just recently again, this time we spent the weekend at the beach house in Pismo. Surfing, long walks, dinners, it was great.
Though when he returned home, I confessed my growing feelings towards him, and he found himself to be in the same position as before.
Frustrating? Yes. Hurt? Yes. He'll always hold such a very special place in my heart, but I know we need this time to grow into ourselves, outside of eachother. I talk to him daily, and love him still. He loves me. I find we're more compatible now more than ever, but getting him to acknowlede that is a different story all together.
He'll be walking the pacific crest trail in 3 weeks time, and I will be dropping him off at the starting point after spending 4 days with him. I can't wait to see him, but after the blossoming attraction I have towards him now, I don't know if he'll feel it healthy to be intimate with me again. Only time will tell, and I know in my heart that if you believe strongly enough in something or someone...
...it'll work to your benefit.
Peace<3

I was just shown the amazingness that is your girl, LIL J:






And this fine young man with a proper translation:




And tons of other re-enactments.

I think I will make a LIL BIBI video.